Saturday, October 20, 2012

No one talks about pregnancy and depression. But thats what I feel. While I am so excited about my baby boy I am incredibly sad at the same time. I am usually so upbeat and able to listen to others problems but for the last month I have been in such a slump. I would honestly take the morning sickness over the depression but... I cry every single day. I have never felt more alone or like no one understands what Im going through. I openly cry at work, I openly cry at home I mostly dont want to even get out of bed. I wish so much that my Mom was alive. I sometimes think of going to her grave... But I dont see myself talking to her grave. I wish for my old friends but I dont want them feeling sorry for me or telling someone else my problems like I am helpless, but I feel helpless. I dont eat like I should and that makes me even more depressed because I know I need to gain weight for my son. I am still losing weight in my 2nd trimester and I feel so bad for it. I try but I just feel so alone. I hope this feeling passes so I can enjoy being pregnant with my first child. I hope that soon I will be enough.

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